There were yet more revisions in his rules of discipline - no more scruffy goatees for last-place clubs.

Unlike that pitcher, Dwight Gooden, Martínez remains basically a one-man show, the main attraction on a last-place club.

We were not a last-place club last year.

While McIlvaine reiterated that no major trades are likely soon, he did say his patience with the last-place club is wearing thin.

"I know this is not a last-place club," Zimmer said.

"I had a veteran, last-place club," he said yesterday.

The Mets' only losses in their last 10 games have been one-run defeats to the San Diego Padres, a last-place club.

That spring they went to St. Petersburg, Fla., a last-place club.

But it did yesterday as he moved from a first-place club - where he will be replaced by Rick Down - to a last-place club.

We look like a championship club one day and a last-place club the next day.