"We make it hard not to smile," the headline declared.

But the main headline, in the big type at the top of the first page, should declare: "Crash!

"If we got any closer to our readers," the headline declares, "we'd have to use protection."

Hours before the announcement the race had been described as being on a knife-edge, with headlines declaring it "too close to call".

The headline declares, "Here's to sharing the good stuff."

The headline on one ad, for example, declares: "Today fur.

"Last year we were hot," the headline declared.

The front page of one of the newspapers appears, with a headline declaring that Popeye has become a movie star.

"Delivering the news to millions of readers every day, Carl is a formidable man," the headline on the print ad declares.

"These are good times, for obvious reasons," said Dr. Crew, only a few weeks after the headlines were declaring an overcrowding crisis in city schools.