Leeds United were playing someone or other, and a few British lads a couple of tables along were up for it.

The editors of British lads' mags that I contacted either declined to be interviewed for this piece or didn't respond.

Was I going to go on telly and be "the British lad who helped us?"

Some were very new Australians, they sounded just like any British lad.

But they're not posh, see, and what we British lads want is to get a look at the knockers of our betters.

The setting for such, er, sophisticated exchanges is as lavish as anything a British lad with Broadway dreams could hope for.

It would be the same if a British lad went to Brazil.

Obviously some places are more receptive than others to our culture - in this case, that charmer impervious to the passing of the decades, the British lad abroad.

But British lads became disillusioned and started leaving.

Last, he said, "It's weird because when we left we weren't even that religious, We were young - average British lads.