pissed as a fart

One night, I came back from town with a bag of chips and curry sauce, pissed as a fart.

She was pissed as a fart.

Pissed as a fart.

'And I don't know about youse lot but I'm going to get pissed as a fart.

So we did this whole fury number: I was pissed as a fart, thankyou, Jamie, and I just threw the lot at her.

If this fails, you can always resort to getting her absolutely pissed as a fart, but that holds the risk that she'll pass out, and in an ethical sense is she really in any state of mind to consent?