pinch a loaf

You never pinched a loaf of bread in your life.

Luckily I hadn't yet managed to pinch a loaf.

"I gotta climb down pronto and pinch a loaf."

Speaking of pinching a loaf, I've just had the dubious pleasure of overhearing someone pause mid-wipe to answer their mobile.

Pinch a loaf - To use the anal sphincter to break an overly long "Grogan" in two as it emerges, thus causing the lower half to fall off into the bowl.

And really, each of the four bathrooms in my McMansion needs a 52-inch high-definition TV so I can watch Glee and football simultaneously, no soccer, while pinching a loaf.