I didn't get the deluxe fertility treatment, which involves several monks, chanting and burning things, but all the same, if I get up the duff, I'll let you know.

'So Mish doesn't get up the duff,' he added, 'although she says fat chance of that anyway, which means she hasn't got a boyfriend at the moment.'

Plus, when you relocate to the sunny Mediterranean, the Italian government will give you £835, in addition to the £1,271 fascist bribe, because not enough Italians are getting up the duff.

Still high, it's true, but the schools in Middlesbrough aren't half full of girls who are up the duff.

'Look at bloody Joseph, you'd think it was him up the duff, Jesus!'

Up the duff yet?'

Pregnant (up the duff).

'So Mish doesn't get up the duff,' he added, 'although she says fat chance of that anyway, which means she hasn't got a boyfriend at the moment.'

I didn't get the deluxe fertility treatment, which involves several monks, chanting and burning things, but all the same, if I get up the duff, I'll let you know.

Her one-woman plays include 'Up the Duff', about a young girl grappling with possible pregnancy, and biographical play 'Janis' about the life of Janis Joplin.

Plus, when you relocate to the sunny Mediterranean, the Italian government will give you £835, in addition to the £1,271 fascist bribe, because not enough Italians are getting up the duff.

Her books include Real Gorgeous, Up the Duff (also published under different titles outside of Australia), Kidwrangling, Girl Stuff and Living with Crazy Buttocks, which won the 2002 Bookseller/Diagram Prize for Oddest Title of the Year.