When couples "don't want to spend three years fighting over the coffee table," he said, they go to a divorce mediator.

Mrs. Boskey, 64, a part-time divorce mediator, said that the police had publicly demonized her son.

Stanley Harmon, a divorce mediator in Tinton Falls, says the most important factor is geography.

Professional divorce mediators may come from any walk of life.

Mrs. Boskey, a divorce mediator, said her son had been visiting Israel for long periods of time for the last five years.

Her mother, a lawyer, is now a divorce mediator in Los Angeles.

So they decided to seek out a divorce mediator.

By contrast, some divorce mediators charge a flat fee of between $2,500 and $6,000, which often includes the cost of preparing and filing the necessary court papers.

When she herself acts as a divorce mediator, she insists that each party be represented by an attorney.

"I don't think family disputes belong in litigation," said Elizabeth Manley, a divorce mediator and family therapist in Atlanta.