Lycra lout

Even the Lycra louts gave me a second look as if to say: “Nice motor.

I’m convinced that beneath his façade lurks a Lycra lout, squirming in a bodysuit of wasp yellow.

The pointless war of the roads between cyclists ("Lycra louts") and motorists ("murderers") has flared again, ignoring the fact they are generally the same people.

In October 2013, Hoey was fined £240 for driving through a red light having previously criticised cyclists as "Lycra louts that run red lights".

It's the sort of language you'd expect to hear from an anti-capitalist campaigner, but residents of Surrey are claiming they are being "kettled" by "Lycra louts" on bikes.

At the same time some cyclists – often dubbed Lycra louts – have in turn come under attack for jumping red lights, riding on the pavement and putting other road users at risk.

"Cycle commuting by people in smart suits and school commuting by youngsters and families helps to normalise cycling and puncture the awful stereotype of Lycra louts in fluorescent yellow."

The move follows a significant increase in the popularity of cycling in many parts of the UK over recent years and a parallel spate of alarmist media stories about aggressive "Lycra louts".

Try to amble across the road here, perhaps with an elderly dog in tow, and you’re likely to be knocked down by these neon Lycra louts, riding two abreast, desperate to “do a Bradley” on the roads of Surrey – and swearing at us locals for daring to traverse our own roads at anything less than a sprint.